It is almost 2 years since that happened, but it is always an issue for me. I become super self-conscious and self-aware about whatever I do. I am not sure this agitation and irritability stemmed from the fact that I haven't proved enough who I am, clearly. To be honest, I think I am failing.
Today, the first thing in the morning, I woke up with a surprise news on the death of the respectable religious leader and politician, Tuan Guru Nik Abdul Aziz. I was speechless, sad, complacent, and relief at the same time. That mixed feelings have a legitimate root. I realized that due to so many challenges that he faced before, maybe it is time for him to rest and to pass. But, at the same time, losing him in as a Muslim's leader is not as easy to process for me. He was very much respectable and loved by all people, including his opponents.
How are we going to face the world right now? Everyone who is religious and walking his religion in his daily life has been invited by Allah to meet Him, leaving us here. I am not trying to be fanatic or relying on Nik Aziz, but his passing is just indescribable. It made me remember the fact that toward the end of the world, Allah will invite the most pious amongst us first and let the sinful or terrible ones to suffer the destruction of the world. MashaAllah.
Not only that news triggered my attention, but also the shooting of the three Muslim college students in North Carolina caught my attention almost instantaneously. They were good human beings, trying their best to get the best education in such a prestigious school, and helping out with the surrounding community. And what they got were the bullets penetrating underneath their skins? Until now I still can't process this in my mind. It keeps me thinking whether my soul is actually as important as it is said in the law.
As a Criminal Justice student who has some kinds of exposure toward law and constitution, I would be hoping that the convict who performed such an inhumane act would be punished severely, regardless of who he or she is. Yes, freedom of speech is fine, freedom of press is fine, freedom of religion is fine (only if the religion is not Islam). What is happening to the world now? Have we lost our mercy and love for mankind? They were harmless college students who happen to be Muslims. Why are we, as a nation, discriminating against them? I still believe that all of us deserve to be treated like human and should not be discriminated just because of what we choose to believe.
Despite of all the Constitutional elements that we have been mocked with, there are still flaws everywhere. It seems to me like you would be protected and shielded if you're not Muslim. I hope I was wrong, but the practice by itself proves I'm right.
Maybe this is a reminder from Allah that I should wake up and do more substantial stuffs with my life. I shall not anymore let myself doing stupid things that might tarnish people's perspective on Muslim. I shall not cross my leg and do nothing when my brothers and sisters are being discriminated and denied their rights. I shall not be lazy anymore and let the flow overpower me, when I'm letting myself to drown in it. That's on my side of the story, what would you guys do?
