My Excitement, Joy, and Happiness

It has been a while since I last posted anything on here. I really don't have mood and honestly speaking, time. Running here and there, juggling with different hats sometimes could be very overwhelming yet fulfilling. I have never pictured my undergraduate experiences could be so intriguing as what I have now. Alhamdulillah praise be to Allah. In this entry, I would like to share some of my random hunch on stuffs, including my latest excitement: research assistant position.

**** Crimson CORPS ****

Somewhat vague on the organization name, Crimson CORPS is one of the counseling training programs under Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) in Indiana University. Its main objective is to train and to supervise selected undergraduate candidates who are interested in peer-to-peer supports and outreaching programs on campus. Members are supervised and monitored by accredited counselor who earned Master's degree or PhD in either Counseling Psychology or Social Work. It is one of its own, and aimed to bridge the relationship between counselors and students because research shown that  students would prefer to talk to their peers than to counselors when they happened to have problems. What we are trying to do is to be a good listener, not a problem solver, to our friends and colleagues.

Crimson CORPS organizes numerous training programs and outreach programs throughout the year. One of the most prominent outreach programs is Depression Screening test at which we, the members, would give out a set of questionnaires to students on campus and kindly ask them to rate different prompts based on what they feel at that moment. Surprisingly, there are so many people whom we observed to be relax and laid back reported to be very depressed or mildly depressed. Some of them even checked suicidal thoughts, too! That's something serious and shocking to me, knowing the fact there are so many people out there who is suffering from depression. Another component of that screening is to eliminate stigmatized thoughts about mental health issues like depression, hypertension, ADHD, bipolar disorder, and many more. We told the respondents that our program is not just for them, but also their friends and colleagues who are suffering from mental healths issues and we asked the respondents to refer them to CAPS.

Crimson CORPS also serves as a safe based for me to express my concerns and thoughts about different things. In a smaller group (task team), we can practice our skills and discuss areas at which we could improve, without the fear of being judge. Well I guess great minds think alike! Many people wonder if Crimson CORPS is only open for Psychology major, and the answer for that would be nope. We open the application every year for almost everybody who is interested in this issue of mental health awareness. In fact, we even have Economics, Biochemistry, and Mathematics majors joining us. So, join us people!!! Lols.

**** Random ****

Well, life is hard and sometimes you might drown into the ocean of problems and difficulties. You can't tell when I was having tough moments of my life, especially living in a foreign country as USA, man it is difficult. But if we're strong enough, we'll endure and succeed. Alhamdulillah, ever since I first arrived in the States, I have been branching out and learned to adapt with the natives. It helps me a lot, especially when you need someone to proofread your papers! The only advice is to not fear talking to people and asking for help if you need them. I was born with certain features - no shy (when it comes to learning) and talkative - that help me endure with those difficulties. Barrier of language is unavoidable since English isn't my first language, but that is not the reason to not triumph. Just a little advice, sometimes you have to give up your shyness and fear of being judged in order to get something bigger: knowledge. Know that it's okay to make mistakes because from them you learned your lessons, inshaAllah.

**** Research Assistant Position ****

Alhamdulillah, Allah gave me this opportunity to be working in the Socially Situated Cognition Lab under the supervision of Dr. Eliot Smith, soon. I have been accepted quite unexpectedly because Dr. Smith's lab is very competitive in the field of Social Psychology and frankly speaking, I was overwhelmingly anxious and nervous. His research interests focus on how people observe themselves (in-group) and others (out-group), accessing them positively and negatively, and behave differently toward them. This gauged my attention the first time I perused the website. Thinking about my long-term goal which is to be in Counseling Psychology program in the United States, I know that this research would better equip me with the knowledge of cross-cultural ideas and personal biases. I know people don't take Psychology seriously, but I truly value the field of studies because the significance that it would impact people with.

So, talking about the position, I'd start working as a volunteer this semester (November 10) helping one of the graduate students, Steven Sherrin on his newly launched project on how our bodies give information to people to act in a positive or negative ways. I will be instructing participants, running the experiments, coding data, and doing some write up. And next Spring and Fall, I will be doing all that with course credits counted into my graduation. InshaAllah I can do it. I would just want to take this opportunity to encourage people out there to grab any potential opportunities that lie beneath you. Don't be afraid to do something different because that would help to increase your merits in your future career. I hope this entry could open our eyes in viewing the world differently and to not be afraid of the what you have. Plus, the world needs you in many shapes, ways, and forms.


Love muah muah,
azzahrawifazuan

My Greatest Fear NOW!!!!

***** Disclaimer *****

This is purely came from the bottom part of my heart and I am not aware of the grammatical errors. So, enjoy reading without any judgement hehehehe. Thanks

***** Begin *****

Gosshh, it has been ages since my last blog entry and how I miss getting on this keyboard again. It's 0221, Sunday, and I can't close my eyes and can't even sleep even at this point of time. Well, I have been thinking about my future lately in an inordinate counts that is sometimes I know surely, insurmountable.

I have perused all sorts of possible labs that might open their research assistant positions, I googled all tough and great professors that I could learn something significant than trashes, and even what I could do after completing my Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and Criminal Justice. It's not that easy to make decision when it involves and pertaining to your own future, and whatever you choose to do today would elicit some kinds of comeuppances in the future. That's terribly hard to handle.

When I was super confused and completely exhausted, I made decision to post my confusion on Facebook and see how people around me would respond. And as expected, many people perceived me as someone who should get involved in either Social Psychology or Counseling Psychology. And from their responses, I can assure you that their assessments are based on my traits of being outgoing and highly sociable. 

This is another conflict because people always put me under credential of being "people person" which is totally true that they forget another side of me that I am a kind of person who can also do math and science as good as many of them do. BUT just because of my outgoing and extroverted traits have overshadowed the other traits making them steer towards that argument (well I'm totally fine with it though).

Why am I so stressed out with all this yet? Many people asked about me being overwhelmingly worried about what the future holds for my careers, spouse, and financial standing. And my only answer to that is simply since we never know what the future holds for us, that's why we have to constantly worrying and keep on planning. If we failed to plan, we are planning to fail. Planning will keep your routine more easily schedule and easily obtain if there's anything planned beforehand. Simple??

One of the things that bothers me right now is about which lab should I apply to become the research assistant. In Indiana University Bloomington itself, we have 45 different kinds of labs that range from developmental, social, cognitive, neuroscience, molecular biology, cognitive, and cognitive neuroscience. They offer different kinds of training depending on which grounding you are planning to go for graduate school.

In my thought right now, I've told myself that maybe I should give myself a try on Social Psychology and Counseling Psychology. In that case, I have narrowed down from 45 to only 10 labs now. I'm thinking of applying to all of them and see how it goes from there. Hopefully out of many, I can at least get admitted to one or two labs because I am in total desperation for more researches and and case studies. I know I sound crazy to start worrying about all this. But tracking back at some of the undergraduate research assistants, I was amused when I realize that most of them started their lab experience while they were in Freshman and Sophomore standing. As for me, I just realize the importance after I got to my Junior year. Ugghh isn't that causing pain in the ass?

And another thing that I am so intense is about the GRE test and GRE subject tests. Well to put in a simple way, GRE is the ticket for me to get admitted to any Master's and PhD programs in the United States. And talking about those exams, they are far more complicated than SAT and TOEFL, at least for me who isn't born in English speaking background, it is still complicated.

Knowing the fact that I'll be taking the exam before my Senior year summer, I have to gear up from now. I'm planning on buying some exercise books and start memorizing all those crazy gigantic alien words (vocabulary). I know I will do better if I prepare early, but the fear of failing is always there. I would love to be accepted into excellent universities that provide great academic programs, hence they would definitely raise the bar and expecting me to score high marks for all the papers.

I hate procrastinating and I hate doing nothing. From now on, I know that no one can change my destiny except for myself with the wills of God. I will do my best and leave the rest to Him to decide. Please pray for our success inshaAllah. Wallahualam.

Somebody That I Know: A Brother and a Good Listener

Assalamualaikum and a good day.

Some people might said that I wrote this out of obsession, but I would say out of respect and admiration that compelled me to write this on my blog post. I'm counting the days before someone who is very special to me, personally, reaching his final days in Indiana University Bloomington. I happened to know him from an event back then when I first came here in Bloomington, and he appeared to be such a friendly person and caring as well.

Always acting weirdly, he always makes me think that I wanna be like him. He is pretty much introvert, but somehow or rather loud and vocal whenever I hanged out with him (not really vocal as in loud like me, but he talked more than usual haha). He always makes me feel special and important in his own ways. His mocking and intrusive tease are not about a show of hatred or intended to be offensive, there are more about getting the bonding closer between brothers. "I won't do that if I hate you or dislike you, you just make me feel comfortable," that was the words that he always say to me whenever he saw me getting angry at him.

One salient thing about him that I could never forget is his love towards plants and animals. He loves nature so much. There was one time that he told me about his dream of marrying someone and settling down in a huge land, with a very cute tiny house that just going to fit him and his significant others. The entire land would be used to grow lots of crops and different kinds of trees. Well, after all he is a Biology major and thus he loves anything related to nature.

Besides that, every time I was with him, I realized that my knowledge increase more and more especially about biology and single cell prokaryote. He always tell me experiential stories about how he came to like Biology so much and about his dreams of becoming a medical doctor one day. Very very inspiring and motivating in his own ways, just like how my brother treated me. The fact that he is 26 years old this year just makes me feels like I'm talking to my late brother every time I hanged out with him.

But, behind that smile and laughter, behind that jovial character and happy - go - lucky kind of person, many people don't know how terrible his life that he needs to pass through. He came from the same family background like I do. His parents got separated and he lived with his mom ever since. Being the first in the siblings, he needs to support his family especially his younger brother that need special attention. Behind that smile, there are paramount of difficulties and tribulations that he endured up to this level. The reason why he is 26 years old but still completing his undergraduate degree is because he changed his university and majors couples of times for the sake of his significant other, but eventually doesn't worked out. His best advice that I would never forgets,"never change any damn thing for other people, do it for yourself and only yourself."

When I told this things to one of my best friends, she said that this person really take good care of me. He never let me pay anything when we were having meals together, he waited for me if I walked really slow out of tediousness, and he was there when I need someone to talk to. He never condemned me in anything that I do, instead he encourages me to look up to different possibilities. For example, about my research that I'm doing right now, he always encourages me to advance to the next level and he put his trust in me. When ever I feel down and sad, he will put his hand on my shoulder and sooth me by saying, "everything gonna be okay dear."

The weird part of him happened when he brought me to park or garden. He would literally sit under the trees and started smelling, taking pictures, and introducing me to all the species haha. We could spent hours and hours walking from campus to our apartments while talking about different things. All in all, I don't have to think about what would be the next questions to ask him or to answer when he asked. Awkwardness never exists between me and him although it is clearly known that we were both from different cultures and backgrounds. 

NOW, he is almost done with his degree track and heading back to his hometown, before going to Canada to be in Medical School. I could not help myself but to cry today when he said that. I know this gonna be the last day that I'll met him again because starting next week both him and me are busy with the finals. But one thing for sure: plants would be my favorite component of nature, the restaurant in downtown Bloomington would be my favorite late breakfast place to attend, perseverance and determination would be my utmost qualities, Chemistry building would be my favorite spot on campus, and walking through the woods and nature would be my favorite past time. 

Why am I writing this about him?? Someone that I just met but managed to change me in so many different aspects, positively of course. He is such a great person, and I'm sure that he will have a bright future ahead. I seriously don't know why I don't have even a single of his picture, but he is always in my mind, for now and inshaAllah forever. My brother, my listener, and my sarcastic master: Mark[us] Kyler ........ (I forgot his last name and he refused to tell me then haha).

Continuing to Survive in the US

Rasanya macam dah lama sangat tak mengupdate entri blog ni dek kerana kesibukan kerja dan bebanan tugas sebagai seorang mahasiswa. Benarlah apa yang selalu saya dengar berkenaan kehidupan sebagai seorang pelajar di luar negara dan bagaimana mereka harus melalui kehidupan yang sangat mencabar.

Alhamdulillah, tak lama lagi bermakna saya sudah berada di bumi penuh keterasingan ini selama 9 bulan dan jujur saya katakan yang saya sangat merindui Malaysia dan seisinya. Keluarga, kawan - kawan, dan insan tersayang sentiasa berlegar dalam ingatan saya siang dan malam. Rasanya kehidupan saya seakannya tidak lengkap tanpa menatap wajah mereka dalam tempoh yang sangat lama. Walau bagaimanapun kehidupan harus diteruskan dan impian harus sentiasa diperjuangkan untuk menjamin masa hadapan yang lebih baik untuk diri, keluarga, dan masyarakat.

Dalam tempoh ini juga saya banyak kali berperang dengan diri sendiri berkaitan perihal double major dalam Psikologi dan Criminal Justice, perihal membahagikan masa untuk belajar dan bermain, masalah yang terlebih prevalent sampai kena dropped satu kelas, krisis diri, dan  macam - macam hal lain yang sukar untuk saya gambarkan dengan kata - kata. Alhamdulillah, markah untuk Criminal Justice exam saya sangat memberangsangkan nevertheless.  Lebih banyak kita diuji sebenarnya mendatangan kebaikan kepada kita kerana kita menjadi semakin kuat dan resistant untuk mengharungi kehidupan mendatang.

Antara perkara yang saya rasakan sangat mencabar adalah untuk memahami sesuatu yang kita tidak biasa. Contohnya, apabila saya berkawan dan bergaul dengan orang - orang di sini yang kebanyakannya orang Amerika, ada kalanya saya merasakan yang diri ini seakan outcast kerana kesukaran untuk memahami konteks lawak dan cerita mereka.

Tapi walau bagaimanapun jangan kita jadikan itu sebagai satu alasan kenapa kita harus menjauhi mereka dan tidak cuba untuk mendekati mereka. Ada satu stigma yang harus kita buang dari ingatan kita masing - masing iaitu kita sebenarnya sangat layak untuk diterima dan dilayan dalam sesuatu komuniti, cuma semua itu bergantung kepada sejauh mana kita sanggup untuk berubah dan mengambil cabaran. Alhamdulillah two of my best friends adalah dari kalangan orang - orang putih yang tidak pernah terlintas utuk menjadi sangat rapat dengan mereka. Sometimes you just don't realized that people whom you are trying to avoid would be the person that you loved the most.

Persoalannya bagaimana nak dapatkan kawan dengan mudah dalam environment yang sangat sukar ni? Jawapan saya agak simplistic iaitu dengan banyak join organizations, events, job opportunities, dan training programs. Setakat yang saya tahu, agak sukar untuk membuat kawan dalam konteks kelas sebab orang - orang di sini meletakkan kelas sebagai masa untuk belajar sahaja dan sangat sukar untuk membuat kawan melalui kelas. Kalau ada pun, boleh kira dengan jari jelah. At least for me, memang susah hahahahaha.

Something that intriguing untuk saya kongsikan adalah semenjak duduk di sini, saya belajar untuk bercakap dengan verbosenya atau what we can say as berusaha untuk memanjangkan komunikasi untuk memastikan mereka terus menerus berminat untuk bercakap dengan kita. Just try to make that communications sounded interesting and appealing. Try to do this couples of times before mereka betul - betul nak hang out dengan kita lagi selepas itu hahahaha.

Hmm, satu lagi perkara yang nak saya kongsikan berkenaan persoalan grade kat sini dan macam mana nak survive. Ada beberapa sahabat yang bertanya macam mana nak maintain result yang bagus and honestly saya tak tahu sebab saya sendiri pun ada masalah kadang - kadang. Cuma saya boleh katakan jangan pernah berhenti berusaha dan buat sehabis baik kerana kita tak pernah menyangka kebaikan dan keindahan sesuatu itu sehingga kita lihat hasilnya di akhir perjuangan kita itu. Percayalah, takkan pernah ada benda yang berlaku dalam hidup kita ini yang tidak mendatangkan kebaikan kepada kita dalam tempoh jangka masa panjang.

In a nut shell saya memang dah tak sabar nak balik bulan Mei ini ke Malaysia kerana cinta dan buah hati - buah hati saya semuanya berada di sana. Nantikan kepulangan saya yer wahai insan - insan yang teramat kusayang. Buat masa ini, ayuh kita bangkitkan semangat untuk terus berjuang untuk menjawab exams tak lama lagi. All the best to everyone dan ambillah apa yang baik daripada penulisan blog ini ya kawan - kawan. Wallahualam.

Salam sayang,
Firdaus Fazuan

Love What You Do

Assalamualaikum

It's been a long time since I could really post something in my blog. Too many things to handle and manage, sometimes makes me feel too absorb about myself. Keeping up with the reading, understanding the key concepts, training myself in the Perception/Action lab, working on my weight loss, and many different tasks seem out of reach at times. BUT, why am I still doing that??

Your destination is determined by yourself. Start planning today
credit to Google

It's the question that people always asked my opinions about. How to keep on doing what you are doing right now. Well I don't have any answer scheme to that question but I would say choosing to do what you like to do is crucially important as doing it. For example, you know that you hate Mathematics, why bother majoring in Statistics and Management or things that relate to those two mentioned. It might sounds like I'm making things simplistic, but head on, isn't my statement makes sense?? I used to hear a lot of complaints and regressions about things that undeniably true that we could just avoid in the first place.

I am going to give you a simple example, hopefully most of us could benefit from it. So, the question about why we keep on running, working out, monitoring our diets, and weight lifting. For some people, they do that because they want to look good and stay healthy. Some would say that exercising gives them happiness and relieves their stress. Working on something with purpose will definitely keep you going since you got the right direction where you are actually heading to. Doing things that you hate or dislike would be like travelling without proper map and direction. You might reach the destination, but you might be in the risk of wandering for more time than you need to complete that goal.

Especially when you are in your tertiary education a.k.a university's level of education, you actually get the privilege to choose what you want to major in and immerse into. I would say the starting point of everything lies within the boundary of choosing the right course or major. You must and need to understand not just the degree track, but also your willingness to spend majority of your time to work on that choice of preference.

They are behind you because they are too terrified to know
the reality of your strength
credit to Google

Again, I'm going to give you example from my own experience. Since I graduated from high school, I wanted to do something that could connect me with people regardless of their backgrounds or ethnicity. I love hanging out with people and listen to their stories. I keep my goal straight that is to build up connections with people and help them improve their life. When I browsed through the catalogs, I knew by heart that Psychology is what I wanna spend my lifetime venturing into it. Anything that can help people and improve their qualities as an individual would be closer to my choice.

So I hope after this, we could try to do things that actually reflect what we really want to do in our life. But remember this closely, there is nothing came by without any trial and tribulation. Everything comes with something as a price for it, and it's totally depending on us whether or not to really take the challenges or leave the goal unattended.

Macam Mana Nak Berjaya Ekk???

Assalamualaikum

Bukannya ada apa yang nak dikongsikan sangat pun memandangkan sekarang adalah musim semua orang sibuk mengambil exams dan midterms. Alhamdulillah, saya baru selesai mengambil 3 exams minggu lepas dan satu hari ini. Semuanya nampak macam berjalan dengan lancar dan saya berharap mendapat keputusan yang lebih baik dari sebelum - sebelumnya. 

Bercakap pasal exam dan test ni, terfikir pula something yang sangat significant untuk kita semua fikirkan. Jujurnya, saya bukanlah orang yang suka pada exams dan tests sebab kebanyakannya akan membuatkan kita berasa tension dan stress. Walau bagaimanapun, itulah realiti kehidupan yang penuh dengan cabaran ini. Ada orang pernah bertanya kepada saya, macam mana saya mampu mengekalkan momentum untuk belajar dan kekal cemerlang dalam kebanyakan exams.

Saya sangat - sangat terkejut kerana saya merasakan semua orang ada excitement phase dan refractory phase masing - masing di mana ada kalanya kita berasa super rajin dan ada kalanya kita berasa macam sangat malas. Itu lumrah kehidupan manusia, ada pasang surutnya.

Sungguhpun begitu, kalau dah setiap masa malas dan tak nak buat kerja, hmmm something needs to be done sebab itu tanda kita sedang menempah jalan kegagalan. So apa yang patut kita buat bila dalam situasi seperti itu?? Baiklah, pada saya, pentingnya kita faham apa yang dimaksudkan dengan prioriti. Setiap daripada kita perlu faham apa yang kita mahukan dalam hidup kita ni. Ada yang nak jadi kaya, ada yang nak jadi suri teladan, ada yang nak bantu orang, dan tak kurang ada yang nak memperbaiki diri mereka on a day to day basis.

So setiap daripada kita ada misi kita masing - masing which is a very strong move. Seriously, kalau anda ada semua itu, bermakna kejayaan sedang menanti anda. But hold on a second.. Takkan bermimpin dan berimpian jer kot. Mestilah kalau nak berjaya kena ada usaha dan kesusahannya. Tak ada benda dalam dunia ni yang mudah untuk kita dapat dalam sekelip mata. Kalau masih ingat, Maryam pun diperintahkan untuk menggoncangkan pokok tamar untuk mendapatkan buahnya sewaktu beliau melahirkan anaknya.

Apa yang Allah nak ajar kita dari kisah Maryam?? Usahalah walau dengan apa cara sekalipun kerana kejayaan atau kemenangan takkan datang bergolek kepada kita. Ya mungkin betul ada kejayaan yang tak disangkakan akan datang, tapi bukan setiap masa kita akan dapat by accident. Usaha dan itulah kuncinya.

Tentang usaha, saya tinggalkan anda dengan strateginya kerana setiap manusia ada cara berfikir yang berbeza - beza dan pelbagai, jadi gunakanlah dengan sebaiknya. Jangan berputus asa kerana di sebalik setiap kesakitan itu pasti akan ada kejayaan dan kejayaan itu sangat manis. Semoga kita semua berupaya dan bersemangat untuk melakukan anjakan pada diri untuk menjadi manusia yang lebih berjaya dunia dan akhirat. Wallahualam.

Iktibar Minggu Penuh Keserabutan

Assalamualaikum, holla people.

Rasa macam agak lama tak hupdate blog ni sebab kekangan masa yang terlampau. Boleh kata macam tak berapa nak jumpa masa, walaupun semua orang diberi masa 24 jam, kata mama. Hahaha.

Alhamdulillah minggu yang membebankan kepala dan akal akhirnya telahpun berakhir dan sekarang masa untuk bertenang. Hmm bercakap tentang bertenang, teringat pulak seorang sahabat yang saya ingat kata - katanya berkaitan mengambil tempoh bertenang. Nor Ilyani Ab Rahim, sahabat sejak dari tingkatan 1 pernah berkata setiap kali kita nak buat sesuatu, kita perlu mengambil tempoh bertenang iaitu tempoh untuk kita mengenali dan memahami situasi yang berlaku.

Apa yang selalunya terjadi, kita suka main terjun lombong tanpa mengambil masa untuk berfikir sejenak dan menganalisa sesuatu hal. Kita paaling suka kalau buat kerja hujung waktu (baca: last minute) dan akhirnya hasil yang kita perolehi tidaklah semegah yang kita sangkakan. 

Oleh itu, mengambil masa untuk berfikir sejenak dan meletakkan sesuatu pada konteksnya adalah sangat perlu kerana semua itu akan terbukti pada hasilnya nanti. Jika kita mudah sangat gopoh dan terburu - buru dalam membuat keputusan atau memilih apa yang kita mahu, jangan pelik kenapa di akhirnya kita akan menyesal. Kata orang, sesal dahulu pendapatan, sesal kemudian tiada berguna (wahhhhhh, peribahasa Melayu haha).

Dalam minggu yang serba sibuk dan menjengkelkan ini juga, saya sempat belajar makna diri dan kualiti yang ada dalam diri setiap individu. Kita sememangnya hebat dan bagus, dan Allah jadikan kita sebaik - baik yang ada di muka bumi ini. Jangan mudah sangat bergantung harap pada orang lain, walaupun orang itu kita sangkakan mampu untuk membantu kita. Sebagai contohnya, saya terlalu berharap pada seorang mamat ini untuk membantu saya dengan assignments English composition. Tunggu punya tunggu punya tunggu akhirnya dia memungkiri janjinya. Natijah yang saya terima adalah markah 0 untuk assignment tersebut. Jadi, berwaspadalah semua kita. 

Kita selalu menyangka yang kita ini yang paling lemah dan kurang pandai dalam kalangan orang - orang yang kita kenali. Kita selalu mengompare kan diri kita dengan orang lain dengan harapan kita mampu untuk menyaingi individu tersebut. Tapi, I bet to differ dalam hal ini kerana sebaik - baik yang boleh kita buat adalah dengan membandingkan diri kita dengan diri kita sendiri.

Biarlah apa yang orang kata pada kita. Kita gemuk ke, kita lari tak laju ke, terhegeh - hegeh macam siput khinzir ke, kurang menyerlah ke, baju kita pakai tak cukup lawa ke, atau apa sahaja possibilities yang kita bakal terima. Just don't compare yourself dengan orang tetapi sebaliknya compare lah diri kita dengan diri kita sahaja. Kalau dahulunya kita lari lambat, maka kita improve. Kalau dahulunya kita berbadan comel, maka kita work out at our own pace. Jangan paksa diri kita untuk menjadi mereka, kerana mereka dan kita berbeza.

Ingatlah, "[S]etiap manusia itu dilahirkan sangat unik dan istimewa dalam segenap aspek" (Kak Siti Fatimah), maka berbanggalah menjadi diri sendiri, bukan diri orang lain untuk memuaskan hati mereka.

"If someone ever asked you to change for the sake of your anticipated love, remember, that is not love but a compromise"

Wallaualam. Semoga memberi manfaat untuk diri ini dan sesiapa yang membaca. InshaAllah.

xoxo,
firdausfazuan

Antara Kita dan Mereka Tidak Wujudnya Sengketa

Ada sesuatu yang saya belajar sepanjang saya bekerja di kedai buku (bukan macam mana nak avoid passed out ya). Saya belajar untuk meneriman perbezaan dan meraikan persamaan. Dalam kehidupan seharian memang akan wujudnya perbezaan antara kita dengan manusia lain yang menjadikan kita dan mereka berbeza.

Namun ada suatu hal yang orang tidak mengerti. Bukankah kita juga punya persamaan?? Antara saya dan anda, mungkin saja kita berkongsi persamaan untuk membaca, atau mugkin sukakan kepelbagaian, atau mungkin juga sama - sama bekerja dalam suatu suaran yang sama, atau mungkin kita saling suka bersembang lol.

Alhamdulillah bekerja dengan orang yang terlalu asing pada mulanya memang sukar, namun di akhirnya terasa amatlah manis. Semalam sewaktu saya ditugaskan untuk melayan customers dan menyusun buku di rak, saya mengambil kesempatan untuk bersembang dan beramah mesra dengan my fellow coworkers. Conversations yang pada mulanya endah tak endah ahirnya menjadi something yang sangat significant, at least for myself. Kami mula bersembang tentang perbezaan agama dan diversity in cultures.

Saya sendiri kagum dengan penerimaan sebahagian besar daripada coworkers for the fact that I'm a Muslim. Sedangkan kami sangat berbeza in terms of belief systems and ways of life. Ada 4 orang yang aktif bersembang selain focus bekerja yang terdiri daripada agama Islam, Jew, and Christianity.

Sebenarnya, perbezaan itu hanya dalam bayangan minda kita sahaja. Kalau kita yakinkan diri kita bahawa sebenarnya banyak persamaan antara kita dan mereka, saya yakin masalah yang banyak berlaku pada hari ini, dapat kita bendung. Mungkin kedengaran simplistic sangat tapi pragmatic bukan? Saya mungkin tidak ada kuasa atau suara untuk mengubah dunia, tetapi setidak - tidaknya saya berusaha untuk meyakinkan anda yang membaca blogpost ini bahawa kita boleh bahagia tanpa sengketa.

Ingatlah, semuanya bermula dari diri masing - masing untuk melakukan anjakan paradigma. Saya tinggalkan blogpost ini dengan suatu pertanyaan yang simple sahaja, "Kalau semua orang membuat anjakan untuk berubah, kenapa tidak kita?" Jadi bermulalah untuk mengubah diri kita bersama dan saya yakin anda mampu mengubah sesiapa sahaja untuk membuat hal yang sama.

xoxo
firdausfazuan

Hari Pertamaku menjadi Pekerja

Let's just keep it simple and short.

Ambil apa yang baik dan mudah - mudah bermanfaat. Ceritanya hari ini sepatutnya saya memulakan kerja pertama di IU Bookstore sebagai bookseller. Bangun awal pagi dengan semangat yang sangat berkobar - kobar dan jiwa yang penuh dengan rasa ingin tahu, bergegas untuk menunaikan solat Subuh dan bersiap untuk ke tempat kerja.

Alhamdulilah semuanya berjalan dengan sangat lancar di mana saya dibawa berkenalan dengan kawasan sekitar dan skop tugasan yang harus disempurnakan sepanjang hari ini. Saya bersyukur kerana tidak ada sebarang unsur diskriminasi atau pilih kasih daripada pihak atasan atau rakan - rakan sejawatan. Maka bermulalah tugas untuk memungut buku dan meletakkannya ke dalam cart yang tersedia untuk dihantar kepada tuan punya badan.

Ini merupakan kali pertama saya bekerja dan melakukan sesuatu yang di luar skop belajar sepanjang 19 tahun saya hidup. Mungkin ini sebahagian daripada resolusi tahun baru 2014 untuk diri saya iaitu untuk mempunyai duit poket sendiri dan mencari pengalaman melalui penglibatan dalam kerjaya separa profesional. Segalanya menyeronokkan dan stimulating, sehinggalah..........


***** Cerita indah di sebalik tugasan *****


Sedang asyik menyusun dan memungut buku, tiba - tiba badan saya terasa sangat panas dan mulai berpeluh dalam kuantiti yang agak menggeli - gelemankan. Daripada berpeluh kepada badan saya yang mulai terasa kurang sihat dan kepala terasa sakit berdenyut - denyut pedih. Cuba saya tahan dengan fokus dan konsentrasi terhadap tugasan yang telah diberikan, sayangnya sakit itu tidak berkurang bahkan makin bertambah sakit.

Kurang lebih, 10 minit lalu saya pitam dan badan menjadi teramat lemah sehinggakan saya rebah. Coworker saya yang boleh tahan baiknya terus menjerit meminta tolong dengan berkata, "Owhh no, Muhammad passed out, someone help him." Well, I'm not fainted so bolehlah dengar apa yang mereka katakan. Ramai yang datang menyerbu dan ada yang sudi mengoffer CPR kalau saya tidak bernafas which is my supervisor. Eww gatallah Fazuan ni lol.

To make long story short, saya dikejarkan ke hospital dengan kadar segera menaiki ambulans yang dah lama saya idam - idamkan (waahh impian jadi kenyataan ni ha). Sepanjang perjalanan dari tempat kerja untuk menaiki ambulans, saya pejamkan mata rapat - rapat sebab tak tahan malu sangat.

Di atas ambulans, jururawat lelaki itu mengambil darah saya untuk glucose level dan memasukan jarum ke dalam blood vein saya untuk tujuan memasukkan ubat - ubatan dan air. Katanya mungkin saya dehydrated dalam kadar yang sangat cepat. Lebih kurang 15 minit, kami tiba di Emergency room (ER) dan terus saya dikejarkan ke dalam bilik untuk tindakan selanjutnya. Sunnguh saya tidak menyangka prosesnya sangat efisien dan menyeronokkan. Alhamdulillah.


***** Iktibar *****


Kalau anda menetap atau belajar di US, pastikan anda mempunyai akses kepada insurans yang boleh dipercayai. Jika tidak, segala prosedur menjadi sukar dan amatlah mahal sekali. Mungkin anda menjangka yang anda akan kekal sihat, tapi lihatlah saya, walaupun muda dan masih bertenaga masih saja sakit. Jadi gunakan kesempatan ini untuk mengambil insurans yang mampu menjamin kesihatan dan kesejahteraan kehidupan anda.

Keduanya, waktu anda sakitlah anda akan melihat siapakah kawan anda yang sebenar. Saya berasa sangat bersyukur kerana Allah kurniakan saya kawan - kawan yang baik dan supportive. Tidak lama selepas saya dimasukkan ke ER, ada beberapa orang kawan yang datang melawat dan membawa makanan. Hilanglah sedikit lelah di hati diganti dengan tenang dan gembira melihat telatah mereka yang sangat menghiburkan. Balik ke rumah, kawan - kawan sambut dan sudi tolong masakkan something untuk dimakan. Senang kata semua yang tahu berkenaan saya admitted ke ER sangatlah prihatin dan membantu. Saya sayangkan mereka semua dan saya berdoa semoga Allah mengganjari kebaikan yang telah kalian lakukan berlipat kali ganda.


***** Ending *****


Kebiasaannya orang akan tweet atau update status FB menceritakan betapa seronoknya hari pertama mereka bekerja, tapi inilah kisah indah hari pertama saya. Penuh warna warni dan keindahan dunia. Sesungguhnya kesakitan itu tanda cintanya Allah kepada kita dan begitulah cara Allah mengangkat martabat kita di mata makhluknya. Semoga bermanfaat dan berguna untuk semua.

xoxo
firdausfazuan